MAN DIAGNOSED WITH ALS AFTER "ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE" MISHAP

 

Don Gibson of Yelm, Washington, received the bad news yesterday that he was diagnosed with advanced ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease) after suffering multiple concussions from attempting to performing the ALS Challenge, the online fad of dumping ice water on your head to raise awareness of the disease Gibson now suffers from.

Gibson, 28, was standing on his back patio in only swim trunks and no head protection, when his girlfriend of three years, Laura Caldwell, who lacked any and all form of upper body strength, dropped a six gallon metal bucket, filled with ice and water, onto his head from a second story deck. The impact concussed Gibson, but before he could pass out, his best friend, Jared Simons, rushed in on cue to throw another gallon of ice water at his face. Unfortunately, Simons lost his grip on the heavy copper pot he was using to hold the water, sending the seven pound metal cooking utensil into the forehead of Mr. Gibson. Losing his footing, Gibson slipped and fell, smacking and bouncing his head on the wet concrete patio floor. After laughing for ten minutes at the hilarious circumstances, Ms. Caldwell immediately called 911 and Mr. Gibson was air lifted to Seattle University Hospital.

Neurologist Dr. Michael Underhill, spoke with reporters, saying, “Mr. Gibson has advanced ALS. His brain looks like it played in the NFL for ten years without a helmet. This is incredible. But mostly it’s just ironic.”

Gibson, now restricted to a wheel chair and communicating via computerized talking aid, said that he had no idea what ALS was before he accepted the ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’.  “I just wanted to make a cool video like everyone else and get a lot of ‘likes’ on my Facebook page from hot chicks I knew in high school. Now I sound like that Stephan fucking Hawkins guy. This sucks.”